Actor / Astronaut / Asshole
A venture capitalist by trade, Dan Bilzerian (a.k.a. "Blitz") has made a name for himself as a high-stakes poker player, thrill seeker and, more recently, Hollywood actor. His lavish lifestyle, penchant for danger and carefree attitude has gotten him attention around the world as an international playboy.
As an actor and stuntman, Bilzerian's credits include "Olympus Has Fallen," starring Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman, as well as three films to be released in 2014:"Lone Survivor," starring Mark Wahlberg; "The Equalizer," starring Denzel Washington; and "The Other Woman," starring Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton.
True to his nature, Bilzerian spends his free time doing extreme sports around the world as well as training MMA, scuba diving, mountain biking, snowmobiling, and racing cars.
Head pussy in charge
I am Dan's Persian cat and the light of his life. While most cats seem to think of themselves as princesses, I can assure you that no feline royalty can compare to the extravagance of my lazy existence. I am showered with love, tiny kitten shirts, and women’s breasts on a daily basis.
Be My Pussy Coordinator
Be on call 24/7
like money, pussy never sleeps
Ensuring the Minimum of Fucks
he needs at least three options whenever desired
Do not let Dan Impregnate anyone
Just don’t let it happen
Willing to “Test Drive”
Potential DBs need test driving if her respective abilities in the sack are uncertain
Ensure Dan’s Chose Partner Leaves
upon draining Dan of his seed, or the following morning if for some reason he is going to indulge in morning sex with the same person, which will likely never occur
Handle the Phone
incoming phone calls, nudie pics, IG direct messages, and emails, and respond accordingly
At least 21
must be able to drink legally
Must be able to develop a keen sense of the type of girl with which Dan enjoys engaging in sexual congress
Over 20 Women
provide some picture evidence of your personal conquests
Must have slept with a 2 or below, as well as an 8 or above. Basically, you need to be well-rounded.
The pay will be industry-competitive, and because pussy is everywhere, there is no required location for this position. Candidate can be anyone as long as he or she has an understanding of hot women and their predictably irrational, flaky, insane tendencies.